What To Do When… Someone Says Something Confusing

In an ideal world, every time you spoke, your words would be instantly understood by everyone else.

And yet …
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Much of what we say is misunderstood by the people we’re talking to.
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In a retrospective, that’s a big problem. Retrospectives rely on group learning and collective decision making. Without a clear understanding of what’s being said, effective conversation can be hard to come by.
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That’s why one of the primary responsibilities of the facilitator is to promote mutual understanding. What’s the best way to accomplish that? Paraphrasing.
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Paraphrasing is the simple act of summarizing what someone said in your own words. It has two positive impacts:

1. It helps the speaker feel like he or she is being heard
2. It gives the speaker an opportunity to correct misunderstandings
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So, how do you paraphrase? First, listen closely to what the speaker is saying. Then, preface your summary by saying:
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“It sounds like you’re saying…” or “Let me see if I’ve got that right.”
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Paraphrasing is deceptively difficult. It can be hard in the moment to capture the essence of someone else’s comments in a few sentences. Don’t let that stop you. If you’re having difficulty understanding what someone else said, chances are you’re not alone.

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